Sunday, March 4, 2012

Six ways to understand that the one you love cannot love you in return:

Do not be angry. Your anger will only burn your skin as it spills from every pore, to scald your nerves and make you numb. And while numbness may seem tempting, it will only be a prison for you, in the end, when all you want is to feel the touch of another person's heart, and you cannot.

Do not blame their actions on their sickness. Everyone in this world has been sick, in one way or another, and everyone who is heartsick can get well. Being sick or wounded is not an invalidation for their actions, and while there are things that may creep into their veins like stone and make them heavy, this is not their death warrant. This is not anyone's promised doom--not theirs, and not yours.

Be hopeful for them. If they are low, and they are winded with the effort of keeping themselves going, they likely don't have the energy they need to hope for themselves. Send good energy into the world for them, because they need it, and they likely cannot find it.

Don't let their words scar you. If they are angry and confused, they will confront the world with razor blades and fire. Realize that you did not make this happen; that you did not create these things within them. They are struggling, and they are hurt. The things they say and do are not reflections of you, but on them, and on the real and true condition of their soul. Be kind to them in these moments, for their armor is missing and their heart is raw.

Do not try to fix them. Whatever they need, you can't give them. You love them, and in doing so, have done as much as you can. They must do the rest. Your love does them no harm, but it cannot solve the riddles etched on the inside of their skull.

Above all, do not wait for them.  When they heal, they may be different. And though you may love them, they may not ever return your emotions. To wait for them is to imprison yourself. Instead, cut yourself free. Realize that your love is valuable. Remember that it is a beautiful force, and that, while they may not treasure it, someone will, the way you treasure this person now.

Souls do not inseparably bind--and while this person may leave holes, another person will come along bearing patches. And the love you have for them, waiting in the future, in no way diminishes the love you held for this soul who cannot love you back. Remember that--there is always room in your heart for more love. Always.

2 comments:

Ms. Becca said...

So well said. I can especially relate to the "Do not try to fix them."

I'd never really thought about the second one, I'm not sure how I feel about that. Gotta let that roll around in my head a bit.

Nicely done as always.

Sarah said...

Thank you, Rebecca =)

A clarification on "do not blame their actions on their sickness": I mean mostly do not let their depression/addiction/ect be a justification for perpetual disrespect or otherwise negative things said or done to you by that person. I know that, at times, addiction/mental illness is not an EXCUSE but an actual cause or reason.

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