I watched her undress with the light of the moon
painting stripes on her skin as it fell through
the slats in the blinds like
dust motes.
She started at her shoulders,
digging fingers beneath her collar bone,
slitting flesh along the bone-line, folding it down
like the collar of a dress,
wet to her chest.
Her arms bent behind her neck,
grasping the vertebra, pulling
down to unzip her spine
all the way to the small of her back, letting
the bones fall to the floor with a clatter
like windows in a storm,
just about to break.
She dragged the skin and muscle from her legs like stockings
without garters, exposing the knobs of knock-knees
while stripping away the scars
of bike crashes and road rash.
She lifted her feet from heels
sharper than the edges of her
broken ankles and bruised pride.
She pulled the ribbon from her hair
and it tumbled down to tangle
at the inside of her ribcage,
knotting in the backs of her lungs.
Her breath became a whisper and a
guess, passing through blood-red
lipstick meant to seduce.
She came to me in the dark-light-dark
of the moonlight in my bedroom, all the layers
stripped away, begging me to love her
from the crown of her head to the bones
she worked so hard to expose,
and I could tell in her eyes she was hoping I'd say
no, your bones are not enough.
Show me more.
3 comments:
Bravo; this may mark a turning point in your work.
Thank you, sir. I hope so. The ocean metaphors are getting tiresome, and while I've tried to stay away from the macabre, I think I may have found a new niche to test out for a while.
At first I was a felt a bit iffy about the what the fuck what the FUCK is the word I'm looking for.
It's rhythm.
I didn't like the rhythm too much, but it was inconsistent in an unexpected way, and at the end, I'd forgotten it had bothered me at all.
The mental images kind of creep me out, but I think that means you did a good job.
So. Good job.
It's really brilliant.
My favorite bit is
"She pulled the ribbon from her hair
and it tumbled down to tangle
at the inside of her ribcage,
knotting in the backs of her lungs."
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