Regarding anonymity and respect.

So, a few nights ago, I wrote this post. Like most of my posts on this blog, it is a short snippet of prose about my life. Also like most of my posts, it revolves around sex, romance, and relationships.
This morning, I woke up to an anonymous comment that said this:

"You are cordially invited to shut your dirty whore mouth". You really didn't try to conceal his identity very hard sweetie. Also, don't publish shit like this on facebook where it can hurt people.

Signed,
that "most beautiful" Man's Honey

It took me two hours and a 500-calorie workout to be calm enough to reply. I ended up saying this:

So, I'm not sure if this comment comes from misdirected anger or a misunderstanding of what I intended in this post, but there are several things I'd like to address.

1. The last time I slept with the Fool was something like December 10th of last year. At that time, both of us were single.

2. I have no intention of trying to sleep with him again.

3. Any romantic inclination I may have towards him is minimal. He is a friend, and while I'm drawn to him as a person, I understand that A) he has no interest in me and B) is otherwise involved with other people (or person, as you've just informed me.)

4. The point of this blog post was that I'm trying to sleep with the girl in the rainbow necklace. Not him.

Obviously, you know me somewhat personally, or you wouldn't be able to see my Facebook posts. In this case, I invite you to message me so we can discuss this further if you so desire. But please understand that I mean no offence or imposition on you. In fact, I have no idea who you are; I wasn't aware he is currently in a relationship.

Also, when upset, it is most often unproductive to begin the explanation as to why you are upset with a (stolen) insult.

Cheers.

I also made the decision to remove anonymous commenting on this blog. You may now only leave comments if you have a Google account or an OpenID (livejournal and dreamwidth count), and all comments will be moderated by me before they are either posted or deleted. I respect your right to comment on my work; I hope people will respect my right to choose which of those comments are suitable to be displayed.

Anyway, while I was calming down and while I was writing my response, it got me thinking about why I was so upset by it. And the answer, to my surprise, was not because I felt guilty whatsoever for writing, posting, or linking the piece in the first place. Instead, I realized that I was upset by the fact that this person didn't have the respect to identify themselves while hurling (admittedly bad) insults at me.

My name is attached to my blog. My Tumblr, my photography site, and my Facebook all link there. It's assigned to my main personal email account and has several photos of me. I will never and have never tried to deny the ownership of anything I've written, despite the fact that several posts have bothered people. (I have only once taken a post down due to conflict, and it was because it was a bad decision to post it in the first place).

If someone has a problem with something I've written, I expect them to confront me, just like the Anon above did. But I expect them to own up to their problem or criticism. Discuss with me why you're upset. Throwing your anger at me like rocks through a window accomplishes nothing.
No, I will not apologize for writing or posting it. No, I will not take it down. No, I will not try and tell you I meant someone or something other than exactly what or whom I meant. But I might apologize for hurting you, or showing you disrespect. I might apologize for making you uncomfortable.

But only if you have the balls to tell me who you are, and the respect not to call me a "dirty whore" in the first sentence of your comment.