A Hectic Week//Starting Blogger

Now seems like a strange time to start new blog, but strange is not always bad. I realized recently that I miss the cohesiveness and coherency that I forced myself to have (most of the time) when I used my LiveJournal. I think I understand what Emily, one of my best friends, has been saying regarding Tumblr for months: it's relatively depressing.

Yes, there are the occasional posts that are uplifting, and yes, I understand that not everyone has happy lives. But the sheer amount of empty, pointless, unoriginality was starting to get to me. I'll probably keep my Tumblr for following purposes, and use it for my collaborative writing projects, because it;s easier. But I'm hoping that the majority of my creative thoughts will end up here instead, where I don't feel the need to abbreviate them for the purposes of a Dashboard.

Anyway. I suppose this particular entry is also a kind of decompression. The past week has been so hectic and insane that part of me is still have trouble accepting that all of it truly happened. I don't want to bore anyone, but I think I need to lay it out.

On Monday, I was feeling frizzed for no good reason, and I ended up having a total breakdown at lunch, and skipped fourth hour English with Emily and Shiloh. Even with 80+ minutes to try and calm down and think things over, I couldn't find a rational reason for falling apart. Looking back on it now, I can only say that maybe thew Universe gave me my instability preemptively, so that I could deal with the rest of the week in relative composure.

Tuesday was 4/20, and I don't think I will ever be able to hear those numbers without flinching. I have way too many friends who treat it like a holiday, and use it as an excuse to practically worship the chemical it supposedly “honors.” The difference this year as opposed to last year, though, is that I happen to be dating someone who smokes (or, rather, smoked) pot. This is something I never thought I would say, but I've changed a lot in the past year or so, and while I can't say the drug use isn't a problem, I can say that we're working through it. That being said, my boyfriend decided a while ago that he wanted to start quitting at the beginning of this month. After a couple relapses, he was feeling shaky, and I tried my best to assure him that he was trong enough and could get through the day without smoking. Unfortunately, my assurances weren't strong enough, and he skipped fourth hour to go smoke with his friends... and then completely bailed on the plans we'd made earlier in the week. All of that combined with the fact that he didn't call me like he said he was going to made for an extremely tough night.

Wednesday came along, and it started with a half-rant to Nathan (the aforementioned boyfriend), which didn't feel like it got us anywhere, and a Japanese quiz that I hadn't studied for. The first half of third hour was a ball of nervous stress, because Nathan and I sit next to each other, and I was still on edge and keeping my distance. We reconciled partway through, but things were still awkward and kind of shaky when Wednesday was over.

He was home sick on Thursday, and I had a partner English project due fourth hour that was a graduation standard—if you don't pass a grad standard, you earn a No Credit for the class. So I spent most of my day working on it, wasting my research time in Astronomy (we're making sundials. Also a grad standard), my entire Graphics class (which was alright because I was done with my project), and all of lunch to finish. I did finish, but I did so with minimal help from my partner three minutes before class started. Because I had to work through lunch and had Driver's Ed from 3 to 6 (like I did on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday as well) I didn't get to eat anything until I got home on my bike around 6:30. Things got a bit better once I ate, and Nathan and I talked some things out.

Yesterday is... possibly indescribable. I can only think in bullet points. I can't remember much of the school day, except that the odd stitch in my side that I've had since Tuesday moved yet again and centered on my left ribs, so that I had breathing trouble all day...

Then, during lunch, a friend of mine came over with a panicked look on her face, and asked if she could talk to me. I said yes. She told me that a close friend of mine, Joe, had mentioned to her that he was going to sell some sort of illicit substance to someone, and she and a friend of hers had turned him in. Please understand, the fact that Joe was selling something was not at all unexpected. He's been doing so for several years now. However, the fact that these two girls had turned him in struck me hard. Joe, you see, has also just gone sober, and I was afraid primarily that being turned in and punished however he happened to be punished would force him into insobriety once again. I was shaken when I heard later that Joe has been pulled mysteriously from his third hour class and hadn't been seen since.

I didn't have much time to dwell on it after that—I had English, and then Emily came home on the bus with me because my brother's band, Canis Major, had a show last night. We talked about some serious shit and some random shit, had raspberry ice cream, and rocked out like crazy at The Garage for half an hour. XD While we were hanging out at The Garage, before Canis Major played their set, we texted Joe, sending him love and hoping that he was alright. He called us just as we were leaving...

• Arrested and charged with a third-degree felony, selling a prescription narcotic.

• He's expelled for the rest of this school year

• He's on probation until he's 21

• He spent five hours in jail

He also... apologized. He apologized for it being disappointing that he'd been selling/involved with the drugs in the first place. He told me I was right, and his luck would finally catch up to him; and it had.

Emily and I spent the rest of the night running around in the rain, singing songs that reminded us of him, because we are so happy.

I found out later that night that three of Nathan's good friends got caught smoking weed. None of them had ever been caught, and he would have been with them if he hadn't decided to go sober officially after Tuesday's fiasco.

I'm glad all of this is finally over.