I'm in one of those moods where it feels like I'm stuck in some sort of limbo. I'm listening to music I've never heard before; it's 10 at night and I feel like I can be awake all night. It's a very Wallflower-esque feeling. In fact, re-reading The Perks of Being a Wallflower seems like a wonderful idea right now... which may or may not be an indicator of just how bad my mind is right now.
I don't know if I can quite describe the combined feeling of nostalgia and anticipation and loss and hope that has somehow taken residence in my head and is threatening to move down into my heart. It's dramatic and overblown and adolescent, and I know it, but I can't shake it or find reason for it. So it's sitting there, swirling in lazy circles and thrumming like it's about to overflow somehow—into what, though? That's what I'd like to know.
How do I always end up back here? This blank space that isn't positive or negative, high or low. It's like some giant grey area that catches me if I don't have my guard up and plants me in the middle of it so it can feed off of me and leave me neutral.
Seems like Perks is going to be my comfort-food of sorts, for better or worse.
Here's to the wallflowers.
1 comments:
Sometimes moods like that just happen. They're inevitable and a part of being human. They happen to every single one of us.
My mom calls it being overwhelmed. I just call it icky, because most of the time I'm not entirely sure what I'm being overwhelmed by. But it passes, and you know it does. It'll be alright. C:
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